Since I resurrected this site, I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to handle the content. I thought about copying/pasting my older posts. I almost did just that. But then I thought, “Nah, let’s tell new stories, or tell the old ones in a better way.” So that’s what I’m going to do.
A lot has changed since I created the old site. I’ve been living in another country for almost a decade. The people in my orbit are (mostly) different. Of course, I’ve kept in touch with my good friends from the old days as best I can. My life is totally different than what it used to be, with different priorities, perspectives and goals. I’m also older. Some could say wiser, but maybe it’s just that I have a whole different set of experiences to draw from.
Ten or fifteen years ago, I never would have thought I’d be…well…here. I knew I’d be alive somewhere, sure. But I didn’t think it would be like this.
Is that a good thing? I can only answer that with a “mostly yes”. I think any other answer would be dishonest or delusional.
What will I write about now? Not sure, really. But I had an idea.
You see, some time ago, I wrote a memoir about how I ended up moving from Cleveland, Ohio to Germany. It was a mess compilation of diary entries, polished essays, and tearful, booze-filled rants. During the pandemic, I managed to put it all together into a somewhat legible format, thanks in part to dear friends in my writing groups in both Munich and Glasgow, Scotland.
While the format was ready, the timeline was completed and the story was there – it was simply not ready for public consumption. Parts of it read like an angry letter you’d turn into the police. Writing the book had been an act of catharsis, a way to get all the trauma and turbulence out of my head before it poisoned my heart. Therapy in written form.
Now fast forward to today. I have a good career which began out of necessity and grew into something I love. What I love even more is the man in my life, Carlos, and his big, wonderful family. I rarely touch alcohol these days. I’ve written another book, a fictional crime novel, which is currently being edited. I have another one in the works as we speak.
So what about the memoir? Well, it needs a heavy dose of editing, that’s for sure. I’m also in a place in my life where I can go back to those painful memories and look at what I wrote more objectively.
So my idea?
I think I will post some passages from that memoir here. Not the whole thing. And it won’t be all I post. But I dedicated a lot of my time and energy to it. And, for the past almost-decade, the most common question I’ve gotten has been, “How did you end up in Germany?”.
And maybe now I can answer that question here in a more eloquent way than, “It’s a looong story…”.