I haven’t had my hair done in a really long time.

Not because I don’t have the money, my finances are just fine. It’s just that I don’t trust the salons here. I had a few bad experiences, and those compelled me to wait until I go home this year to get my wig busted.

One experience, while I was fortunate to have left before any damage could be done, was quite possibly the most unacceptable service-wise. It took place at a salon near the Altstadt, and I should have taken the emptiness of the place as a bad omen, but I patiently waited to be seen anyway. Waited for what, I’m not quite sure, as I said there was no one in there. Finally, a girl, hunched over her phone at the counter, looked up at me. Clearly annoyed, she led me over to a chair. I sat down, and she told me to wait a moment. In the mirror, I saw her sit down in the corner, play with her own hair, then proceed to Skype with her boyfriend.

I stared at her in the mirror in disbelief, then grabbed my coat and ran for my life before something crazy happened to my head.

The other time shortly after the first one, the older woman doing my hair was certainly nice enough and offered me wine and beer. However, when spun around for the big reveal I found myself face-to-face with Peg Bundy. I should have known with all the weird teasing I felt her doing, but I was too polite to say anything.

Since then, I’ve relied on boxed hair dye and cutting my own bangs, and even that level of maintenance has waned as I’m not very good at it. Now I’m left wishing I had the kind of money where I would just fly to my favorite hair stylist and that would be that. My bangs have gotten long and straggly.The boxed dye, as it does, has faded back to my natural, boring medium brown. I look like I’ve given up on it all and started knitting sweaters for neighborhood stray cats. Pictures make me look disheveled and homeless. Friends have stopped asking me to hang out. Party invitations have vanished. People on the street try to give me their change.

Okay I’m (kind of) exaggerating. But you get the point.

Anyway, as I’m getting close to making my yearly Christmas trip back to Cleveland, Ohio, I am in search of a stylist with mad skills. I want fun colors again, cool bangs, and to stop looking like an understudy for a Zoloft commercial.

A few years ago, I had hair like this and it made me happy:


So I was thinking along those lines, something like this:

or this:

but with bangs like this:

Or bangs like this:


Any opinions/suggestions are welcome. 🙂




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